All we need to be fine
by Just Lucy
Summary: SPOILER BASED! If you don't want to know, don't read it! Set after the events in 5.13, 5.14 and 5.15. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: **_Don't own them. They belong to ASP and the WB._

**Summary: **SPOILER BASED! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW, DON'T READ IT! Set after the events in 5.13, 5.14 e 5.15. Luke and Lorelai are on a break, but Lorelai wants to tell him how she really feels. How he would react? And how about Emily?

**A/N: **So, English is not my first language, so maybe you'll find some mistakes. I'm sorry about them. And a _big thanks_ to **Beta** for helping me with some ideas.

**All we need to be fine**

I lied. I don't know why, but I lied. He was right there, his arms around me, looking into my eyes, and I lied. I could have told the truth, it would have hurt, but he would understand, I know he would. He always understands, ever since I can remember. And now I'm alone, wishing I could go back in time and change all my decisions since that day. I need to make this right, he needs to understand that I need him, that I miss him, that I... love him? Yes, I love him. I, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, am totally in love with Luke Danes. But he doesn't know, because I was stupid and lied to him. And now we're both alone, trying to understand why it's all wrong.

Some things just don't leave my mind. The look in his eyes when Chris said I was with him "for now". The way he looked into my eyes the next day, more pain than I had ever seen in him, and told me that he wanted sometime to think. The words we didn't say during these past two weeks. The way he's angry with the world. The way I'm scared with all these feelings inside me. I love him, and I don't know if I will be able to tell him that. Because he doesn't want me around.

God, what am I going to do? What can I say, how can I fix this? I need to think, I need to find a way to be with him one more time. He's... my world. He used to be my best friend, the one who would listen to my problems, who would help me. He's all I have right now, besides Rory, and she's living her life. She's not a child anymore, soon she won't need me, and I will be alone. I don't want to be alone. I want to be with Luke. I love Luke. But I still haven't told him that, because my dear mother wouldn't let me. Because she decided that "he wasn't good enough".

I know, I know, it's my fault too, maybe if I had told him the truth, he wouldn't be that hurt. But I just can't understand why she did it. I was happy, happy in a way I had never been before. I could see myself with Luke, in the future, living together, married maybe. Little boys in flannel shirts and baseball caps running around us... I saw a future, and he was there with me, all the time. But my mother doesn't care about that. She only see what she thinks it's important. A name. A bank account. Status. So what Christopher left me alone to raise a child when I was sixteen? He's a Hayden! We can "work things out".

I tried to pretend that I didn't notice that she didn't like Luke. I tried to think that, one day, she would see how much he's important in my life. In Rory's life. I wanted her to understand that I'm not a little girl anymore, that I know now the right decisions to make. Luke may not be a "gentleman", he may not be the one with whom my parents imagine me with. But he's the one I love. The one I choose. And I'll be damned if I let my mother ruin this. I can do this, I can go in there, look him in the eyes and say that I'm sorry. Again. But this time, he'll listen to me. He won't say that he still wants to be alone until I say that I love him.

"Luke?" I say, entering the diner. He's behind the counter, and doesn't even look at me. "Please, Luke, can we talk?"

"Lorelai, I said that..." He's not looking at me yet. God I hate this, I don't want this anymore.

"I know, Luke, but please, we need to talk." I'm right next to him now, and he finally looks into my eyes. He's hurt, and he's angry, but I'm trying, and he knows that. "Please?"

"Lane, I'm going upstairs for a few minutes, okay?" He says and she nods, and we go up to his apartment. "What's up?" He sits on a chair, looking at me with a challenging look in his eyes. It's not going to be easy.

"I'm sorry Luke. I know that I said that already, and that it's not enough for you, but it's true. I made this huge mistake, and I didn't notice until it blew up in my face. And when I realized how much I had hurt you, it was too late. But I can't give up, not now. I won't let you go, Luke."

"Why did you lied, Lorelai?"

"I don't know. I was going to say that I had spent the night with him, but then Rory told you I had been with her. And then I just thought it was the best thing to do, that telling you the truth would hurt you."

"I am not a monster, you know? His dad had died, I can understand that. And you're his friend, you knew his father and... I would have understood, Lorelai."

"What can I say? I'm stupid, Luke, and I'm sorry that I hurt you. I just need you to understand that I know how wrong I was and that I didn't mean to..."

"I know, Lorelai, you didn't mean to hurt me. But you did. And then he's there, telling me that you two belong together and..."

"He was drunk, and desperate. He's lonely, Luke, and he's starting to realize that he's not a big part of mine and Rory's life as he had imagined. All those things he said... the only thing that's true is that he's Rory father. Nothing else. And my mother, she just doesn't understand, Luke, that I don't want to live the life she lives. That I am a different person, that I want other things. She didn't think about my feelings, she just did what she thought was right."

"But maybe she's right, Lorelai, maybe I'm not good enough." He shrugs, looking intensely at me, and I see, suddenly, what's the big problem.

"No, Luke, I'm the one who is not good enough. I'm the one who lied, the one who's afraid. You told me, right at the beginning, that you were 'all in'. But I never told you the way I feel about you." He's standing now, right next to me, and I close my eyes for a second. "I never imagined I could feel like this... you're my everything, Luke, and I don't want to lose you. Never." I have tears in my eyes, and he wipes then away with his thumbs. "Please, Luke, believe in me. I don't care about Chris, about my mother... I just want you. I need you. I love you." My last words are almost a whisper, but I'm looking into his eyes, and he knows that I'm telling the truth.

"God, Lorelai, I love you too." He pulls me closer, holding me tight, and I just start to cry. The tears are running down my face, and I'm sobbing, feeling his scent, the safety I only feel when I'm in his arms. I'm breaking down now, completely. "Lorelai, what's wrong?" He pulls me away just enough to look into my eyes. "Why are you crying?"

"I just... I thought that I would never tell you and... and... and that you would never know, and... and... and I was going to lose you!" I'm rambling through my tears, my sobs not really allowing me to speak freely. "I didn't want to cry, and then I was trying to hold on, but I... I... I kept thinking that you were going to tell me to go away and... and... and that you would sell the diner and go away, as you said you were going to do." I'm still crying, and trying to talk, and he's just holding me. "But you said you were going to listen, and then... and then... and then I told you, and you're feeling the same way, and I'm... I'm... I'm just so happy that you looked into my eyes downstairs, and that you're here and that I'm here and I just don't know how to..."

"How about stop talking now, crazy lady?" He smiles, pulling me closer, and kissing me. And just like that, nothing else really matters. My mother, my father, Christopher. All I know is that I love Luke and he loves me back. And even knowing that we still have much to talk about, I know we're going to be fine.

xxxxxx

I take a deep breath before ringing the bell, and I feel Luke's hand in mine, giving me the strength I need now. He smiles at me, and when the maid opens the door, we're ready to do what we need to do.

"Lorelai? What are you..." My mother stops, realizing I'm not alone. "Well, hello, Luke." He smiles at her, politely, but doesn't say a word. It's my thing, I had said, and he knows I need to do it by myself.

"We need to talk, mother." I say, my voice surprisingly strong, Luke's hand still in mine. "I'm not going to take much of your time."

"Sure. Do you want me to call your father?"

"He already knows what I'm doing here, but sure, why not." She looks at me, suddenly worried, and I just sit on the couch, Luke right beside me. I had talked to my father two times after the wedding. The first time, he was trying to make me talk with my mother about what had happened. The second time, I had told him what I was going to do.

"Lorelai. Luke." My father acknowledges mine and Luke's presence and sits next to my mother.

"I'm here to give you this." I open my purse and take a check, handing it to my mother.

"What's this, Lorelai?" She knows what it is. She knows why I'm giving her this. But she needs to ask, anyway.

"The money you gave for Yale. I'm paying you back."

"We gave the money to Rory, she..."

"She has a test today, or she would be here too. We both appreciate the gesture, but we're paying you back."

"What are you saying, Lorelai? And where did you get all this money?" It's only the two of us talking. The men are there just to support.

"Don't worry, mother, the money is legal. I just don't want anything from you anymore. I said it already. We're done." I get up, and Luke does the same. "Goodbye." I say, trying not to cry. She's my mother, after all, and it's not easy to let her go.

"Lorelai, please, you don't know what you're saying! I was just trying to do what is best to you and Rory, and..."

"I'm 36, mother, I know what's best for me. And so does Rory. I'm paying you back, so there's no need for Friday Night Dinners anymore. But she's still you granddaughter and if she wants to see you, she'll call, she'll show up. Just don't expect to see me again. Ever."

"Lorelai, I..."

"I almost lost him." I say, looking at her. "And I know that part of this was my fault, but it was you who made him doubt about his place in my life. You made him wonder if he was good enough, mother, and I will never forgive you for that."

"He's not good enough, Lorelai, you'll see and then..."

"No, mother, he's more than that. He's the one I love, with all my heart. And he loves me back, with all my problems and confusions. And it's the only thing that matters..." He's smiling at me, and I smile back, while we're heading to the door, with my mother following us.

"You can't live with love alone, Lorelai!"

"No, but I can't live without it." It's simple and, in a way, I know she knows I'm right. "Goodbye." I say once more, and she's just staring at me, like she doesn't believe that I'm really doing this. And she doesn't say a thing, so I enter the car, sighing.

"You're okay?" Luke asks, as soon as we leave the house.

"I'm fine. It's just... hard, you know? They're my parents..."

"It's going to be okay, Lorelai." He puts his hand over mine, and smiles at me. "They're going to understand and..."

"I don't know, Luke, and I don't care anymore. I just want to be with you and Rory, nothing else." I wipe away the one tear that I have in my eye, and I look at him. "Thanks..."

"What did I do?"

"You know, Luke. You didn't have to borrow me all that money, I could..."

"Don't, Lorelai." He's serious, as he was in all our talks about me paying back my parents. I was ready to go to a bank, but he wouldn't let me. "I wanted to do it."

"I'm going to pay you back, Luke, you know that."

"Forget about it, Lorelai. You needed money, I had money. It's very simple, actually. We're going to get married sometime, so lets think it was in the family, right?"

"Luke, are you proposing?"

"Believe me, Lorelai, when I propose, you'll know."

My heart is beating really fast right now, and I can feel my hands shaking. But I'm not feeling this way because I just paid back my parents, or because I told my mother that she's never going to see me again. I'm like this, because of his words, because of the way his voice sounded when he said them. My heart is going crazy inside my chest, and we're just grinning like idiots, only because he just made a promise of a future. Our future...

THE END 


End file.
